Diabetes Information Library 
Your Source For Articles On Diabetes  
Search Articles:
Bookmark Our Site! Free Newsletter | Special Offers | Archives | Diabetic Dictionary  
 Home
a1c
aIc
acetyl l-carnitine
alpha lipoic acid
american diabetes assoc.
benfotiamine
bilberry
bitter melon
blood sugar
blood sugar level
carnosine
cause of diabetes
chromium
cinnamon
diabetes
diabetes care
diabetes diet
diabetes education
diabetes food
diabetes information
diabetes insipidus
diabetes management
diabetes medication
diabetes mellitus
diabetes menu
diabetes news
diabetes nutrition
diabetes recipe
diabetes research
diabetes statistics
diabetes symptom
diabetes test
diabetes treatment
diabetes type ii
diabetic
diabetic cake recipe
diabetic complications
diabetic cookie
diabetic cooking
diabetic dessert recipe
diabetic diet
diabetic exchange
diabetic food list
diabetic meal planning
diabetic menu
diabetic neuropathy
diabetic nutrition
diabetic product
diabetic recipe
diabetic retinopathy
diabetic symptom
diabeties
diabetis
exchange diet
exercise
fenugreek
food exchange
gestational diabetes
gestational diabetes diet
glucose
glycemic index
gulvel
gymnema sylvestre
healthy carbs
hemoglobin a1c
herb for diabetes
high blood sugar
high triglyceride
hyperglycemia
idiopathic neuropathy
insulin
insulin resistance
jambolan
juvenile diabetes
low blood sugar
low carbohydrate diet
metabolic syndrome
methylcobalamin
nerve damage
neuropathy
neuropathy symptoms
normal blood sugar level
peripheral neuropathy
preventing neuropathy
pterocarpus marsupium
pyridoxal-5-phosphate
recipes
retinopathy
sign of diabetes
sugar diabetes
symptom juvenile diabetes
syndrome x
triglyceride
type 1 diabetes
type 2 diabetes
type 2 diabetes diet
types of neuropathy
vanadyl
vanadyl sulfate
zinc
Printer Friendly Version

Talking About Sex


Source: Diabetes Forecast
Author: Wendy Satin Rapaport, PsyD

Talking About Sex

Speaking out about sexual problems can help you find lasting solutions.

Imagine you're in the middle of lovemaking, and your partner loses his erection. Or she just doesn't seem to be aroused. You:

A. Think about your aging body or the weight you've gained, wonder why your partner doesn't find you attractive, and wonder if there's someone else.

B. Think of all the other people who do find you attractive.

C. Plan to avoid sex so this won't happen again.

D. Vow to not discuss it so you won't hurt your partner's feelings.

This is a trick question; none of the answer options offer a good solution. It's only human to have any or all of the thoughts and feelings I've just listed. But don't stop there.

TV and movies suggest that everyone is having sex easily and often. But in the real world, sexual dysfunction is a fairly common occurrence for both men and women. You can get through all the angst and disappointment and learn to talk about such issues without taking their personally.

Silence Is Not Golden

People are often uncomfortable talking about sex because they mistakenly think their partner knows their concerns, naively think sex should "just happen," are uninformed about how the other sex experiences sex, or are afraid of hurt feelings or rejection.

But if your sex life is interrupted, it is better to address the problem than to allow distress, anxiety, and fear to overwhelm you.

Lovemaking is more than a physical act. It can be a method of developing deeper emotions and intimacy, a forgiveness ritual, and a foundation for basic physical and emotional satisfaction. It's about intimacy, bonding, affection, sharing, fun, and friendship - gifts well worth working to keep.

Don't Assume The Worst

No question about it: Blood glucose fluctuations, poorly controlled diabetes, and related complications can all affect sexual interest and ability. But when problems arise, don't assume that a long-feared complication is here to stay. Sexual problems can happen for a variety of reasons and often are temporary or easily resolved.

However, having diabetes and fears about its complications can increase the anxiety that anyone with sexual difficulties might feel. This makes the willingness not just to talk but to communicate effectively about sexual problems more crucial.

Withdrawing, getting angry, nagging, or using sex as reward or punishment are easy and common reactions. But they aren't likely to help. Instead, try these tips for talking to your partner about sex.

1. Choose the right moment. Don't bring up sex when either partner is stressed out. (But don't let waiting for an opportune time become an excuse for not talking.) Consider talking while taking a walk. You can hold hands and not be inhibited by each other's facial expressions.

2. Use positive reframing. Try to view sexual problems as opportunities to get closer. Focus on what you'd like to have happen, not on what's already happened. If planning ahead for sex becomes necessary, think "anticipation," not "loss of spontaneity."

3. Describe problems objectively. Be specific and succinct. Separate facts and feelings. Don't judge. Instead, talk about your feelings and needs by using sentences starting with "I." Ask questions. ("What worries you most about seeing a doctor about your lack of desire?")

4. Listen. Practice empathy not reactivity, when your partner is talking. Don't be defensive. Give feedback after you have listened fully,

5. Move away from self-centeredness. If your partner is having difficulties, it's probably not about you. If you are having a problem, know that it also affects your partner.

6. Share responsibility. Don't allow yourself to think, "If he wants to have sex, he'll get the evaluation" or "If she has no desire, let her go to the doctor." Sexual problems are not "yours," but "ours," to solve.

7. Keep a sense of humor. Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. If nothing else, it helps keep things in perspective.

8. Prioritize your sex life. Sex has to compete with too many things - overeating, overweight, alcohol use, smoking, stress, busy schedules, financial worries, chronic illness, and more. Slow down, take time, and give this your full attention.

9. Don't grow accustomed to a life without sex. New issues arise at all stages of life and marriage from pregnancy and parenthood, to midlife, to menopause and beyond. Make a habit of expressing your willingness to work through whatever problems exist, whenever they appear. Ongoing communication is essential to avoid performance anxiety. Don't be afraid to get professional help.

10. Meanwhile, just do it. Don't wait until you've resolved every issue and quelled every fear to try reconnecting. Michele Weiner Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage, notes that desire does not necessarily precede arousal; it can just as easily follow. If necessary, couples can learn alternative sexual techniques to help them stay close. To emotionally connect, Dr. David Schnarch, author of Passionate Marriage, recommends simply hugging, with no intention of having sex at all.

Wendy Satin Rapaport, PsyD, is a private practice psychologist associated with the Diabetes Research Institute of the University of Miami in Florida. She also teaches at the University of Maine in Orono.

Flourish

  Recommended
Product
Maintain Healthy
Blood Sugar Levels*

Glucobetic


Price $33.95

Testimony
I Feel So Much Better!
"I have been taking Glucobetic and have seen a remarkable difference. I actually am having a normal blood sugar reading everyday without fail. I just wish I had started this product a long time ago. I really do feel so much better - the sluggishness is gone and I feel like my old self again. Thanks !!"** 
  - A. Workman, OK

Product Details


Recommended
Product!


Sleep So Well
60 Capsules

Calm, Restful Sleep*


Price $17.95




 

Recommended
Product!



Probiotic Digestive Support

Targets Gas, Bloating & DIfficult Digestion*


Price $27.95






Vitalicious Natural Muffins-100 Delicious Calories


Copyright Act Notice                       

*Many of the statements on this web site have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration or other government, research or academic body; any that were are so marked. This information is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent diabetes or any disease. Information on this site is provided for informational purposes and is not meant to substitute for the advice provided by your own physician or other medical professional. Not intended to diagnose or prescribe for medical or psychological conditions nor to claim to prevent, treat, mitigate or cure such conditions. You should not use the information contained herein for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing any medication. Any products advertised are from third parties. You should read carefully all product packaging. You should consult with a healthcare professional before starting any diet, exercise or supplementation program. Do not discontinue the use of prescription medication without the approval of your physician.

**Results not typical; your results may vary.


***Recipes provided usually include nutritional information and diabetic exchanges. Not all recipes are appropriate for all people. Please make sure a recipe is appropriate for your meal plan and pay careful attention to serving sizes. User is solely responsible for their use of any content provided.